Ghost of A Memory
by fluffypuppykins
Summary: Some things are not what they seem, and some memories haunt you in more than one way...[Entry to Blind Go]


**Ghost of a Memory  
**

Hikaru jogs just outside the soccer field to the yells and hits of soccer practice.

A willowy shadow sits under a tree staring into space. It is a boy with go board and stacks of kifu beside him.

"So how's it going, got tired of playing that old man's game and kick the ball around with me?" Hikaru asks as he jogged towards the boy.

"When you're tired of playing soccer." The reply is something he'd expected.

"Right. So what're these for?" Hikaru peers at the kifu.

"Games with 'jii."

"Hah, old man tricked you again?"

"Hikaru!" It is a worn complaint without any sting to it. Like most of their banter, it has the feel of an old cotton shirt, sloppy and worn to comfort.

"Shindou! What are you doing lazing about? Five more laps!" The irate voice makes them start a little in its loudness.

"Well, let me help you with it after practice." Hikaru says, waving as he strides to comply with the order.

**xxx**

Hikaru wakes up and wonders what the dream was about. As far as he could remember, Akari was his only friend in grade school outside of the soccer team. His only interest was soccer and he never knew anyone his age that played Go before Touya. Then he dismisses the dream as something his mind had made up in his sleep as he has more pressing things to worry about seeing as he is going to face Ogata in the Meijin preliminaries tomorrow—no—today.

**xxx**

"You attacked here too soon so you lost the group in the left."

"But then I would have lost the fight in the center, see?"

"If you cut here, then it wouldn't have been necessary…"

_"If you cut here, then I would've needed to defend the right and it won't be necessary, see?"_

A voice pipes up in childish alto. It is a shade higher than Touya's voice when they had been both thirteen, making Hikaru wonder for a moment.

"Oi, Shindou, pay attention here."

"What?"

"Why are we having an after-game discussion, if you aren't going to pay attention anyway?"

"Sorry. Have you had a dream that felt so real it felt like a memory?" Hikaru blurts out unthinkingly, regretting the last sentence almost as soon as he had uttered it.

"Where did that come from?"

"Oh, never mind, Touya. How about this move over here…"

The moment passes and nothing more is said about Hikaru's lapse. He even forgets about that correcting voice that is for once not Sai's or Touya's.

**xxx**

"Don't you have any other interests other than Go? It's a good game but live a little…"

"I do have other interests. I read books, see?"

"'Life and Times of the Heian Court'? 'Heian-kyo'?" Hikaru makes a face as he read the titles of the books.

"It's interesting!"

"We got enough of that in class as it is!"

"What do you know?"

"I think you should stop reading about men in funny hats and robes and come out in the sun."

"Hikaru…"

"Sorry, I forgot about this..." Hikaru waves at his friend's wan complexion and the hospital bed.

Hisato has been unwell for most of his life due to a weak heart. There had been times that he'd been hospitalized for months on end. His parents had finally purchased a hospital bed for him so that his stays at home would be more comfortable. He has his bad days when he could not get out of bed without assistance.

"Let's play Go, or do you have any new kifu we could study?" Hikaru says finally as the silence stretch too long. He is rewarded with a bright smile.

**xxx**

_That was strange…Interest in Heian Court life? He would have liked to talk to Sai about that…_

The loss of Sai still hurts after all this time and Hikaru distracts himself from the pain reading several kifu of the six-dan he was going to face next.

**xxx**

There is something about hospitals that make Hikaru twitch. He clutches at the paper bag he carried some burgers from the nearest MacDonald's.

_He must be tired of hospital food by now…or that healthy stuff his mother brings him occasionally…_

Hikaru smiles as he remembers the time he had brought the other boy to MacDonald's.

_He sure was excited then…_

Hisato had chattered all the way to the fast food restaurant, pointing at things he had only seen previously in the distance of a car window.

"…and I've heard that that store sells the coolest games. Not that Dad buys me anything he thinks I wants…but I've never gone inside before…"

"We could go there afterwards."

"But we promised my Mom we're going home after the party, remember?"

"It's just a little detour." Hikaru sees the longing in his friend's eye and damned if he is just going to let it go that way.

"All right." The mischievous smile mirrors Hikaru's.

That day was bright in Hikaru's memory. After their side trip to the game shop, they had decided to check the video games at the arcade and forgot the time. Akari had caught them there and Auntie had given them a right scolding too. It was the first and only time Hisato had managed to go out aside from school or the hospital.

_It's just not fair… He never goes anywhere…never gets to do much of anything…_

Hikaru is very aware of his friend's condition. He has seen Hisato in his bad days when the other boy couldn't even lift a go stone and so pale he could be ghost. Still, these are not good reasons to him that Auntie Minako and Uncle Natsumi should keep Hisato from doing things he wanted.

_Akari_ _is so right, they're so afraid of him dying that they're stopping from living…_

"Hikaru, thank goodness you're here."

"Akari, what…"

"It's Hisato…they said his heart just gave…they have him in the operating room now."

**xxx**

"Have you forgotten, brat?" Kuwabara-Honinbou asks Hikaru as the teenager strides hurriedly out the elevator of the Institute, tapping his cane impatiently at the floor.

_The brat has forgotten?_

The sentence reformed and echoed in Hikaru's mind so that it took him a few moments to answer the old man.

"What, old man?" Hikaru had woken up tired as if he had played several practice games with his former soccer team. He isn't prepared for this crap.

"Huh, you're getting forgetful and you're young yet, brat."

_Ah, shit!_

"Now, such swearing, you're going to give an old man like me such a fright." The wicked old man clutches his chest but Hikaru knows better than to fall for that one.

_Damned I'm really out of it, if I said that out loud…_

"Sorry about the game we should have played this morning. I forgot all about it…"

"We'll have it out another day then, brat. I can see Shinoda-kun gesturing frantically for you. Go, go, brats these days…"

_Brats, these days…don't tell me he can't remember how to play too, Mitsuko-kun?_

The words nearly stops Hikaru at his tracks but he is late enough already for his demonstration game with the insei class to really think about them.

**xxx**

"What's so great about Heian-kyo?" Hikaru groans as he sees Hisato wearing his some bed sheets and a tall hat made up of cardboard. He has heard his friend play pretend once too often and doesn't want to again.

"Well…the court politics is fascinating…"

"But savage." He gets that from all the history the latter had crammed into his brain.

"Yes, but it was a glorious time too. That's when our culture came into its own."

"Hisato!"

"And…Go was also practiced then."

Hikaru just rolls his eyes. His friend can be very involved in these games of his since he wasn't allowed to go out. Video games can only do so much, Hisato was fairly less.

"It was! Though Kuwabara no Hisato lacks power don't you think? How about…Fujiwara…that's a noble's name for sure…"

"You really take up to pretending this seriously…"

"Fujiwara no…hmmm…"

Hisato's face becomes clear and suddenly Hikaru sees.

_Sai_…_if he was a child of eleven_...

And the world fades away.

**xxx**

Hikaru wakes up with tears running down his face, memories of a friend he had forgotten all these years flashing before his mind's eye.

_"This is my friend's grandson…Hisato. I hope you can be good friends with him since he's also five." A pale thin boy waves shyly at him… _

_"Mou, that's no fun…let's play Go…"_

"_Isn't it an old man's game?" A pout and a whine greet the statement… _

"_I'll be a soccer star and maybe play in Amsterdam…"_

"_I'll play with Touya-meijin someday...he's so good, he's got more titles than anyone! Maybe…I'll reach the Hand of God…"_

"_Idiots, try studying for our math test first." Akari scolds them._

And hundred other memories, some with Akari, some with their parents…

_Hisato__, how could I have forgotten?_

The hurt over Sai's loss bleeds into the pain of losing his best friend till Hikaru doesn't know for whom is he crying.

**xxx**

"Ey, brat, it's about time you visited him."

"Shut up, old man, I would have visited him sooner had someone reminded me." Hikaru retorts as he lights up a stick of incense and bows in front of the grave, tracing the words on it with his eyes.

**Kuwabara** **Hisato  
**19XX – 19XX  
they, who burn the brightest, burn the shortest.

_Hisato__, I'll never forget again. I'll make your—now, my—dreams come true…_

"Your parents didn't want me talking to you about it when they found out you'd forgotten."

Hikaru had fainted upon hearing the news of Hisato's death. The other boy's heart had stopped on the operating table and the doctors hadn't been able to revive him.

"Well, I would think that that would stop a mean old man like you…" The familiar snipping snaps Hikaru out of his pensive mood.

"Manners, brat. Even I have some…speaking of manners, where are yours, punk, you still own me a game."

"Let's go then. Today, you are going to lose!"

"In your dreams…"

Their banter continues until they reach the Go Institute. Hikaru feels at peace with his past.

_First order of the day, write out all the kifus, I can remember of our games together…_

**Owari**


End file.
